MEMO: Attn Chris You Gutless Bastard

Posted by Laura D.

I just watched a chunk of asbestos drop from the rafters and straight through the floor. I can see the Russian tenants below us making signs to ward off the Evil Eye. While holding baseball bats. I can hear them on the stairs. I can hear one of them just put his foot through a stair. I have been feeding the alpha rat ("Phthirus") my lunch for the past three hours in the hopes we will form a mystical bond and he will not eat my face. None of this is in my job description, which still has not been given to me.

On a lighter note I seem to have received our first submissions, which appeared on my desk while I was fording the washroom. They seem to be a child's drawings, in crayon, depicting multicoloured (red, black, purple) scribbles with the notations, "THIS IS WHERE MOMMY HURTS ME" and "THIS IS THE BAD PLACE I GO". Are we planning to add an artists' corner to Never Later, or should I book an exorcism? I know a guy.

The new place

A dump. Lousy. Makes the Varsity offices look like the Taj Mahal. The water runs, but I wouldn't care much to drink it. All that is neither here nor there though. I've settled in and it's time to get to work.

In the absence of any particular directive from Management, I've taken it upon myself to loosen the content criteria in the near future. By which I mean we'll take anything. As the current venue for our publication is rather paltry, I will for the interim be posting all articles through this sad little blogspotty corner of the interweb. I will faithfully reproduce all fiction and nonfiction submissions, as well as any comments on the day to day living of the magazine-formerly-known-as-Never Later. Of course, for informal material and complaints about Management, writers are encourage to produce on their own blogs and we will get some fantastic cross-linking action until we all get fired. If you wish such material to appear here (as mine will), you may of course send that to me as well.

-Chris